If LiFe'S tHe dIseAsE ThaN LOvE's ThE cUrE

As if people din know that already.

See children playing with fireworks in the park downstairs. They were in pajamas... they were running around and laughing... genuine.

Its good to be kids. They know what they want and they must get it. Well they cry if they don't. And adults give in. Us...most of the times we dun know what we want, so ofcoz we dun get any. Other times we know what we want, but at the particular moment it might seem out of place, so we dun dare to go for it. Lets say u feel like dancing in the rain... but u are alone... and u only heard of couples dancing in the rain... and u r not a particularly graceful dancer... so u chuck that thought at the back of ur head and u take ur umbrella out instead...and walk like everyone else. Walk instead of dance. Stay quiet instead of laugh. Play safe instead of falter. Routine instead of spontaneous. Go with the crowd instead of standing on your own. Admit it. Thats the way it is.....more often than not.

Din do much visiting this new year, din even gamble for gods sake. Was suppose to be the tradition right...but granny passed away last yr and we're not suppose to visit. I know... who cares abt visiting anyway. Hey u gained weight! U lost weight! U r in accounting! Ur hair is long! Small talk. Too much of it.

Did go to this gathering at ex classmate's place... almost abt 10 of us i reckon.. but there wasnt much conversation. Just awkward with one another like neighbours who meet someone suddenly out of context and discover that the only thing they have in common is their proximity.

Proximity for 10 hours and still.....

Did get to meet two kids... niece n nephew of the host. Marcus and Mavis... good names duncha think.... hmm... i wonder if kids today knew more than i did... i think they do. But they dun neccessarily know the right things... then again who's to say whats right or wrong. Just wish them well... dunno when i will c them again..

I'm seaching a little further, look a little deeper... to find that something that came out of my dayz.....i refuse to settle for bleakness.

Met Jade tdy... the person's just like the name. =) She's a middle aged lady. One of our stall vendors. Makes handmade ceremics... and they look awesome. She's not married but i adore her love for her craft. You c it in the meticulous manner she handles them... the way she talks abt how she does them. The detailed instructions she gives me for handling them.

" In singapore people get sucked up in the rat race and they forget what they are here for."

She was once in a office job...quit and took up classes and her craft was born. Wish i can take pictures of them and share it with u...but until my camera comes...

You can c it in the way she speaks. Her expectations of life. Simplicity. Care abt what matters to u. I nod in agreement. Add a little sentiment on my own. Told her to pass down her skills to me when she retires. I'd help her open a shop if i have the money. If i have the money. In my mind i doubt myself already... won't i be lost also ... once i get outta school... will i know whaT matters. Do you.

People ard me... some do i guess... some don't obviously. Ha some pretend they do. Well.... what do i care.

They say if u havent found anything to die for, you havent lived. Wonder what Jade's willing to die for. Her crafts? Bleah... probably her family. Have i lived.

To all the people in love, out of love, running away from love, yearning for love, praying for love, waiting to love, afraid to love, desperate for love, insecure about love, tired of love, grateful for love, dying for love...

Although we dont see it everyday...Love's all around... and thats what matters. Definitely not the trival things we complain about each day. Chuck work, chuck tutorials, chuck bills, chuck troubles. I see it today, i see it this moment. I cant say i'd recognize it forever... but only aT this moment. Thats why i'm writing this before i forget. Hope u do remember too... =)