105

Suicide

I sit here on the beach,
I think of your smile,
your face.
The way you laugh.

I stare up at the skies,
you would have loved this,
I wish that you were here with me.

Away before me in the sea,
the crashing of the waves calls out to me,
they tell me to die.
it sounds comforting.
it sounds nice and warm.

As I walk towards the shore,
I think of you again,
cold,
dead,
in that polished wood case.
A coffin.

I miss you so much.
I look on the shoreline,
I see many big and pretty shells.
corals in abundance lie next to them.

I wanted to bring them to you
but you couldn't take it.
you couldn't look at me and smile.
you couldn't love me anymore now.

I walk on,
i wanted so much to bring them to you,
yet.
i realize the truth.
the truth that you are gone, and gone forever.

I too, will be gone.
i have no one,
not even you.

I didn't even say goodbye...

Man. This is my 105 entry. Stupid blogger. I wanted my 100th entry to be special. Guess I'd have to wait for the 500th. Which is crap!!! Its gonna take me years. Bleah! Anyhow. This poem. What do u think? Adel's cousin Sean wrote it. Man I like him. He's sad. Adel says that his entries are RA. But I havent read anything that sounded RA. Adel - U have low threshold for RA. Period. As I was saying, he's sec 3 la. This is good enuff. For I din know anything in sec 3. Ok I knew, but I cannot touch anyone with my words....when u read this poem the second time...it loses its ability to captivate. ha anyway
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I've been lucky lately. You see I havent jogged for 2 weeks. Decided to go for it yest, so that i can sleep better at night. At the 9th round, with me battling my inability to breathe from my flu infested nose, bird shit fell on me. =) Awesome world! And. I din sleep last night. My speech rehearsed itself over and over in my mind. I swear my heads were all words. At some point I got sick of me. The kind of things I put myself through. Why do I have to be made dumb?

But aye... the presentation wasnt that bad. Tutor found it in his heart to be kind. The best thing was starting with a qoute from a poet. Eliot. =) I wish I was the one who said it. SG didnt sound like he had much conviction. Ofcoz he din. I wrote his speech. ha.

I'm asking people to buy me CDs. But u know what? My CD player is spolit. =) Am darn upset yes, but aye, I still want my CDs. =) Yay. Chew is getting me OC soundtrack. Hopefully.

I dunno if Serene will ever read this entry till the end but. Buy me Travis!=P