FOOLISH AMBITIONS

I can't sleep. I wish I could dissect my head, rearrange the disorientated fragments that are clogging up the procession. Then fix it up again like a puzzle. Only the brain is not just a puzzle. Its maze. Damn I have the urge to do Math. Get that sense of satisfaction and assurance of deriving the right answer. Accurate. Correct. Irrefutably perfect.

Yet all things arent. There's the overcast of uncertainty. Millions of perhaps, Depends, Watever. There's always a But. A question always ends with a question. The answers u seek to find doesnt even exist. So u learn to put aside ur questions. Delay it. Disregard it. Forget about it. But each question left unanswered gives u nothing but doubt. Breeds insecurity. Causes skepticism. There's no other way. Just accept it the way it is. Save the trouble. Yet when u stop asking u stop living. If u're not interested in the whys then there's no point staying in here. So we need to ask. Even if we know there's no answer. Even if life has no purpose. Even if people are gonna look at u a fool. For thats the only ambition u should have. Albeit foolish to others. In the end its just u . u . u .

Damn I've digressed. Was talking about brain being congested. Redundant thoughts. I'd like a brainwash u know. Do u believe in such a thing? U watched the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? No? Well. The characters go to a place, articulate the memory u wanna erase. And then the process takes place. When u wake ur mind is spotless. Which memory do u wanna erase? Need I ask. The one that hurts the most. The one that caused u to be u. Like this. u . u . u .

Morrie, I bought ur story man... In fact I bought it 6 times. But words can't teach one to know how to die. . . Boy I'm glad to be alive.

Tainted

I've got a tainted mind
It wondered way out of line

All I did was let it dissolve in my mouth
The after taste left me to go for another
and another

Sucked me into your world
Adorn it with kisses

But then my tongue went numb
Had every taste go bland

Weakened my senses
Fueled me with madness

Then you say you've had enough
Then you say I've crossed the line
You said there's now nothing left to lose
But I'm afraid I've lost my mind

So the sweets, they're on the table
Ants crawling all over
help yourself.

I've got now, a tainted mind
With your sweetness lingering deep inside