JADED

That was the title for my very first entry. Aint it funny how I'm still back to square one. Wartearver. So. The paper. It didn't require me to regurgitate anything I studied. Maybe that explains why I felt like vomitting on the way back in Adel's car. I still feel like vomitting.

Thing is. Today didnt feel anything. Ok wrong. I didnt feel anything for today. No. I didn't feel anything today. Like I went through all the motions in a daze. Remained nonchalent and aloof when Dad drove me to school. Didnt wanna engage in any form of car-or-work-or-whatever orientated conversations with him. If u'd even call it a conversation coz there's nothing he can say that makes me wanna listen. I never listen. He never speaks.

Pee. Walk. Take out stuff. Look at seat number. Enter hall. Good luck. Smile. Good luck. Turn paper over. Allocate time. Read. Damn. Write some shit. Damn. Write more shit. Flip notes. Pen's shit. Question's shit. Answer's shit. SHIT. =)Time's up. Feel nothing. Pack. Leave. Complain.

U ever hear ur friends speak and think they're lame? Just like how u look at couples jesting with each other about nothing in particular and think they are lame. Like what the hell are u talking about!~?!~ whatever u were talking about wasnt worth tAlking about!

My brother havent been talking to me for days. I'm quite sure its more than a week coz it started right after my b-day. And I really dunno what his problem is. He acts like I pissed him off. And thats pissing me off. I HATE U right now. From the time u were 8 I knew u were up to no good. U broke the first wind chime I got as a gift and never attempted to bring it back. I never regreted pouring water over ur face when u screamed at me when u were 12. Or putting sweets on ur chest while u were sleeping so that those armies can have something to eat. I hate u. You restricting my choice to sing before I sleep. Your refusal to read my poems. I come home to ur bag(my bag) and socks thrown around the house, bathe in a bathroom with ur undies, jeans and watch in the basin. The computer left on with the modem burning hot, the mouse contaminated with ur dirty finger prints. U make my computer damn slow with the incessant game downloads. U infest it with the porn u look. U chat obsessively with ur online faceless gurl friends. U keep mushy gross text messages in ur phone. They say hate stems from love but u know what I loathe u. Depise u. Disrespect u. I'm tired of trying to be involved with ur happening life. Its time u get involved with mine. OK. Am inherently evil but I feel MUCH better. =P

So. Wat was I saying?

One day u gotta pay me u know. For entertaining u.