U come in bouts

So I was blabbing to chew on msn..took a pee in the toilet without closing the door...smelt the food my mum was cooking in the kitchen...and felt this happiness. Suddenly. Somewhat elusively.

Duncha think u dun allow urself to feel truely happy anymore. U know it doesnt last. Just at that point of celebration or excitment something else happens and takes it away. It always does. So its better to contain that happiness. Stay prepared for the worse. Know that its coming. But it hurts the same whether u anticipated it or not. Isnt it. You can do nothing abt something that hasnt happen. Even when u know it might happen. So why this suppression?
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Was forwarding one of those sweet msges to my ex-classmate. And he replys: "hey there. I thought u already forgotten abt me." And I said: "I never forget pple. U're just at the back of my mind. And mind is congested. " And he moves on to say sth abt school and bleah and bleah. And then that was it. I remember why I placed him there.

Don't u think its amazing how u choose friends? Time and place can bring pple together but u are the one who choose the pple who stays with u. Ofcoz. U choosing them doesnt necessarily mean they will stay. Sometimes they choose to walk away.

I dunno abt u. But dont u keep the pple u love close to u? Close emotionally that is. Dont u have the urge to call them the moment sth great or disasterous happens? The desire to buy them sth just to show u remember them. The need to write them sth nice once in a while to let them know they are appreciated? Dont you? Okie. Maybe I'm emotionally needy. (Adel just msges me to ask abt interview =)) But what the hell. If u wanna keep me, I gotta have that. I dun need any fair weather friends.
So I'm not gonna be here anymore. Not if u were the one who walked away first.
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On a brighter note. I enjoyed myself at KTV yest. Was a lil boring at first. Chew was crawling late. But it turns out I was with a bunch of accomodating pple. Sometimes I think I'm a mirror image of those pple whose behavior I hate. I can be suchabitch. Well, I furiously inserted songs that chew din know howta sing and forced her to sing with me. AND. I hit her arm countless times. She just got jabs. AND. I talked alot when others were singing. AND made it up by clapping AFTER they were done. AND. I forced Serene to sing some duets with me and then laugh at her sing. AND. I made everyone help me find the title of the Jay Chou song I wanted to sing. Even though I pretty much got the description all wrong. And Peeps!~!! I realised the MTV with the angel was called Ni ting de dao or sth!!!! Ha. So the song I wanted to sing was not the MTV I described. Suchabitch. =) But I had fun. I realised u have more fun if ur singing sucks. Coz then u can laugh. And its been some time since I did that.
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Okie. Here is the boring part. U wont enjoy reading this if ur not me. So one way to overcome that is to PRETEND u are me. This is the lowdown on the companies. Man I need to make an informed decision. Never good at those. Its always easier if u trust ur intuition. But it always betrays me....

Company A

Verdict: Nice people.Good ambience. Light coloured interior. Almost Zen like toilet.

Bonus: Cute managers. Easy going. Candid. Straight forward. To the point.

Interview: Well structured. 3 components. Standardized throughout. Asked standard 4 questions for everyone. Attempt to be unbiased with name tags of cartoon characters given to you. (So they dun look at ur application or judge u from ur family background or anything when conversing and examining you)

Weakness: Portfolio of clientele is the smallest of the big 4 accounting firms. Not much depth or diversity. Only ard 9 groups of clientele. But they have plans to expand within the next 5 years. Sometimes over friendly is no good. I might get sick of it. And their employees give me a very cheena and aunty image. I dunno why. Maybe its the dresscode.

Company B

Verdict: More professional feeling. Black, blue interior. Tinge of seriousness and maturity. As is with the firm. Longer history and one of the biggest in size. Has majority of the retail and merchandising industry pie. Has in fact abt 13 groups of industries.

Bonus: Get to go overseas for training in the first year.

Interview: Totally unstructured and haphazard almost. Only spoke 15 out of the 45 minutues. I dun think they had an agenda to fulfill. Nodding way thru and felt compelled to make "mmmm" sounds of acknowledgement. Boring manager. Tried to make me laugh but lack of cuteness resulted in failure of attempt. Manager was digressing in his speech. For a moment he was talking abt i-forgot-what. Shocking. Almost repelling. Yet manager's actions were impressive. Offered me name cards and I din have any to offer back. Sent me right to the lift and pressed the buttons for me. Man... managers sending u off the building into the lift? That is sth.

General feeling: Candid and honest pple. Yet there's sth missing. I dunno if they really know who I am and I dunno why they want me there. Maybe its the conversation abt free riders. They obviously know I'm not one of them...

Man... I am even more uncertain now that I wrote this chunk out. DAMN IT! Huiling asks me to go for A. Coz she claims that working for cute managers will result in strong desire to excel and managers who give compliments will boost self esteem. Excellent.