April 01, 2005

page 266

We all need someone to look at us. WE can be divided into four categories according to the kind of look we wish to live under.

The first category longs for the look of an infinite number of annoymous eyes, in other words, for the look of the public. Thats the case for the German singer, the American actress, and even the tall editor with the big chin.

The second category is made up of people who have a vital need to be looked at by many known eyes. They are the tireless hosts of cocktail parties and dinners. They are happier than the people in the first category, who, when they lose their public, have the feeling that the lights have gone out in the room of their lives. This happens to nearly all of them sooner or later. People in the second category, on the other hand, can always come up with the eyes they need.

Then there is the third category, the category of people who need to be constantly before the eyes of the person they love. Their situation is as dangerous as the situation of people in the first category. One day the eyes of their beloved will close, and the room will grow dark. Teresa and Thomas belong in the third category.

And finally there is the fourth category, the rarest, the category of people who live in the imaginery eyes of those who are not present. They are the dreamers. Franz, for example. He travelled to the borders of Cambodia only for Sabina. As the bus bumped along the thai road, he could feel her eyes fixed on him in a long stare.

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