Shit

A few days ago I was gonna post this picture I took with Jon Jonsson up here. Yeah..I delayed telling u abt how exciting that was for me...coz I wanted to show u the pic so that u'd be convinced abt how hot he is. And maybe u'd be cite.

Now. The hello thing sorta screwed up so it's like I dun care to show it.

Then. May just called and left me disconcerted.

So you don't agree with the choices ur frens make sometimes. It's not right. But its not as if u have a say in it. It's not as if u can influence it.

People choose their lives. You can't turn ard and say I told u so.

Yet maybe it hurts to watch them go that way.

So I was gonna tell u abt my day really. Like normal pple do. I went for tuition. Let my kid absorb whatever wisdom that I earned from this world. Then I went to the library. Then I saw this kid semi-dancing behind a shelf. Then I smiled to myself. Then I read some how to let joy fill ur life shit. Then I contemplated borrowin it for the entire world to read. Then I placed it back. And then I found this.

In a field
I am the absence
of field.
This is
always the case.
Wherever I am
I am what is missing.

When I walk
I part the air
and always
the air moves in
to fill the spaces
where my body's been.

We all have reasons
for moving.
I move
to keep things whole.
- Mark Strand "Keeping things whole"

And then. And then I came home and ran and then that was where it all begun. Damn it. I am the one who'd like to disappear. Just bring me joy or bring me nothing.