If iT mAkEs YoU hApPy

It'd be such a waste not to write an entry tonight.

Mind's kinda in this state that i seldom have right now....dun usually stay up this late let alone write sth...but well hope i am coherent.

Tonight's one of those i dun wanna do anything but haf fun nights. Maybe its becoz the holidays are here next week...maybe its becoz i have been slacking so much i must as well make it my last slack day...oR maybe its time to be crazy..u know fuck those routines.....make it different for once....

So we had fun.....without even resorting to watching porn. =) But to everyone who watches porn and is happy due to it, way to go.

Awww man i am so sick of being coherent. Just wanna place this moment down...

Nite!

iF OnLy

Wrote a poem last night before going to sleep! =)

Dunno what inspired it... guess its the jog and the stars out at night....

If Only

If only everyone was just dainty and sweet
Nothing under that surface, everything's neat
Everyone's nice, just like cakes and pies
No hidden agendas, no betrays and lies

If only everyone had a specific role in life
If only god made us and we were well-defined
Mary'll love John and John'll love Mary
Nothng in between, no third party coming in
Will they then live happily ever after? Won't they think its too easy.
Would it be blend? Or would it be unbearably boring?

If only everyone's role was to please me
They'd come and go as I wish
Nevermind if i flare up or cry
They'll stick up for me and put everything right

If only i had a choice to control my life
Like a tape i'd play it when i like
I'd pause, fastforward and rewind, even stop
At specific moments of my life

If only things were dainty and sweet...
Dainty and sweet like it was in the beginning....

So, what do u think?!~

DeAr LiFe

It's getting a little boring.

A little meaningless but then just when u think it sucks it makes u feel that u might just be taking things for granted.

Am taking a mini break from studying for taxation quiz. Yeah man u got it TAXation... what the shit...

Hmm....whoops i complained too much.

Had lessons tdy (duH) and i really like some new pple i met. Like they are kinda cool and laidback and easy i wish everyone was like that. Or maybe its just that i am not like that.

Missed a friend's birthday party last sunday. Feel slightly bad so i bought her sth but well..Jess if u ever c this.. tell me its great to be 21!!!!!

I guess sometimes its cool to have accquaintances. Like i dunno how to put it but some accquaintances can be even better then a friend, in different circumstances ofcoz... Like high maintenance friends for instance. Or when u wanna talk but u dun wanna dig deep....I guess u dun haf to know someone in depth to know that they are nice pple... and if they can be sincere accquaintances, why not! CooL...okie am i making sense?

Am finally gonna watch another movie this thursday!!!! Gonna haf sth to write abt then. And am gonna get new phone!!! yeah man till thursday comes......

Hmm...miss talking to some pple tdy.... like havent met up with gurl friends for sometime and its disgustingly shit... i dunno why but if u surround urself with pple who love u, and can be reasonably sure that they wont ever hurt you, it seems that ur life has more meaning to it....

Like sometimes i wonder if u live for urself, or do u live for others. Living for yourself can be tiring sometimes... Bro claimes to be living for others.... well if he lived for himself he would merely be in front of the comp all day... so thats crap... I think people dun live for themselves... like its my life, but my life revolves ard the people i know. Family and friends... so i live for them sometimes.. if they din exist then there would be little motivation to do the things i do... like writing on this boring blog ....

Rite...

Roomie is sleeping now... or trying to. She is amazing? Can sleep with Toni Braxton's voice blasting from my radio? Heeh and oh i helped her dispose this little dead lizard on her floor yesterday? Am i brave or am i brave? But well... we're moving out this march? =( Its not entirely sad but thats some part of school gone... Life's gonna be more boring than this. Though i'd probably get more sleep... better food...

SoMetHinG LikE yoU

********************InSpiRaTiON*****************************************************


You're someone new. Is it wrong to expect more from you. Someone said disappointments stems from expectations. So should i not expect so that u'll never disappoint. But what is it they say again. Results are derived from expectations. You get what u give. Give it all or give nothing at all. Someone tell me how it works.

What would the world be like if everyone was stuck at being afraid of getting hurt. Afraid to take that first step, afraid to show affection, afraid to love. Would everyone then remain unhurt. Would there be no broken hearts? Or would everyone just lose that chance for happiness?

I'm sorry to expect you to know how i function. I'm far better off functioning alone. Selfishly. Unwillingly. Everything's like a chore. There's not much meaning in my being. But then i found you. And i thought i finally had meaning. So i shaped my life around you. You and me, you and me. Us.

And then there were two bodies, wanting to be happy. But things weren't what they seem to be. Still... there was no meaning. Frustration. Desperation. Unwantedness. Now think, how difficult could it be? How difficult should it be? Aren't they essentially searching for the same damn thing? Did they search wrongly? Wrong person? Wrong time? Wrong expectations? Wrong nothing. I ought not to know. Someone tell me how it works.

To DiE... WiLL bE aN aWfuLLy BiG aDVeNTuRE

I wonder if people i knew who died are having an adventure now. Are they playing with clouds, flying with fairies, or merely reduced to dust, non-existence.

Computer has been down lately, adding so much to the bleakness and pissness of me and my roomie. Being plagued already with the problems of being an adult.....

Poor dull things...trapped by propriety, kowtowing to authority, tormented by feelings. Thats us, aint it?

Which part would u play, if ur life was a movie? Would u be the soldier who died while charging or would u be the hero who didn't seem to get fired at. Or would you be the one who took the shot for someone else. Maybe the question is irrelevant. How would we know what part we'd play. We play our part as it comes. But i'm quite certain... I would be the character who runs away even before the war begins.

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This is for u may!~! If u ever read this.....

~~~~ GrEaT eXpEcTaTiOnS ~~~~

"The unqualified truth is that when i loved Estella with the love of a man, I loved her simple becoz i found her irresistable. Once for all; I knew to my sorrow, often and often, if not always, that I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be. Once for all; I loved her non the less because I knew it, and it had no more influence in restraining me, than if I had devoutly believed her to be human perfection.

It's blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up of your whole heart and soul to the smitter."

I believe in fairies i do i do i do

Do you?

Glad i caught Peter Pan. Have developed this ability to cry at almost any show. Ofcoz this show was funny too.... had a good laugh as well.

Perhaps its just better to cry for someone than to cry for urself.

My dad and I pissed each other off today. He threw a whole lot of obsolete bad words at me. Words in some language i dun even understand. Wish he used sth like fuck or sth that i can relate to better. And he kept saying that i should leave the house and feed myself if i'm so smart. But i m smart, so i won't leave the house. Had to come back hall by self tdy. Lucky i din have much to carry. He is childish.

I wonder why Peter din choose to grow up with Wendy and leave neverland. If love's so strong why can't he give up mortality. He's left with no one to remain young with. Oh he has Ting. =)

If u had a choice, would u want to remain a child? I know for sure when i was a child i wanted badly to grow up. I was the cry baby. Filled with insecurities. Missed my mummy. Like always.

But if you never grow up, you won't be able to look at kids and realise how u were, how much u've grown. And you won't be able to understand things. And some kids... some kids are real naughty. So when they grow up they become more wise and humble. Which is a good thing. Aye.. why am i toking abt this...

But u know what? I hope the guy in the movie NEVER grows up. =)